my first ‘writers block’

As most of you are aware, I have been in a low swing.  no job,  no movement on any front, and other than more rejections of my short stories, nothing in the publishing side.

I have thought about trying self publishing, but the cost is a factor, and a LARGER factor is that I have not found the right marketing technique.

as a result of all of this, I have dealt with Writers block.  instead of 2 daily blogs and about 1500 words, I have don’t 100 words TOTAL, and no blogs on either side.

I saw ‘writers block is what you call it when your imaginary friends wont talk to you”  and LOL accurate description for some, for me the problem is not that they are not talking, but it’s the “why are you bothering! how is this going to help your job situation? why complete book 2 when you can’t even get a short story published?” voice in my head is louder than the others.  and lets face it, some of the poor behavior by the people around me give this credibility!

so while fueling a pity party with beer and watching movies, a thought found its way to the front of my skull.  I am doing this not to help the job, not to publish it , not to write the next great [genre specific title]   I’m doing it because it lets me be creative. computers are not that creative, my career is not that creative. if I want to do something that is creative, this is it. I enjoy it! I will try for publishing, go to the weekend extravaganza and see about marketing and such things, and if I get nothing more than what I have right this moment so be it.

sadly this is not the first time I have concluded this, but apparently I need to keep reminding my self of it.

I would ramble on more, but my Demon Ivan is pointing out that we are almost at the climax of book 2. and I can’t start book 3 until its done. God knows how I am going to do the research on book 3, but that’s not an issue for at least 3 more days.



Progress continues

Hey all,

3 minor updates!

First up, bad news, looks like despite three interviews, I am still unemployed. I am going to start conserving my resources now, so no jeep trip this weekend, All home improvements are on hold and if the teen boy breaks anything, I will do a DYI cast! I will get through this but it sucks.

Second item, I bought Scrivner tonight for 20.00 1/2 price from amazon. it can’t help with my second book but it maybe a god send fr the third one (and beyond) if anyone has knowledge about that software and wants to share, I am all ears! there is a Scrivner for Dummies book, but I can spend 15.00 more at the moment, so I will jus apply my own intelligence and pray I don’t pick up any bad habits between when I start to use i and when I learn how to.

and last but not least, my second book reached a word count o 63K words. one thing that’s interesting, while its ‘shorter’ by word count, because its all dialog this time, the page count in word is almost the same as the fist one.

BTW – if you’re not sick to freaking death of seeing this link on yet Demon cats is now in the prime catalog. when I see it at B&N I will make it free with out the code AT42X

more news when I have some!

Done trying to fit in

Hello all,

its Wednesday so that must mean another writers Critique group. I represented “Rakasha” a rude & Violent piece. I have been hearing, or should I say people have been saying and I have not been hearing that the piece is too “short”

ultimately they are right, I have been putting up a barrier to keep the readers from bonding with the protagonists, mostly because I am about to [insert graphic image here] and don’t want to have them ‘hurt’ by the death of someone they like or love.

sadly that is effecting my style, I am also trying to contain the story and keep it ‘short’. This is also an over reaction, my short story in November, it ended at 95K words and spawned another ‘short’ that is already 54K words. I just have to let the stories be the length they are going to be and decide what to do with them after that.

Checking In

Hey All,

Just a quick ‘Howdy’.  Its been a few days, and I have been putting my efforts into finding work. I have to admit I am disappointed with how the sales of Demon cats went, even free not that many people interested. a total of 20 people looked it up on smashwords, 12 took a free copy and I sold 2.

Considering I have 40+ followers on the blog, and 135 Facebook ‘friends’, and 350+ twitter followers, I have to say its pretty clear that my marketing sucks. I don’t know if its lack of interest in the platform (smashwords) or what ?

I am taking a couple insane steps, so insane that I told my wife, she thought I lost it but said to go for it, so going for it I am. (once I have the results, I will share details with you all)

I will have a better update in a day or 2, after I find out if I scored the job that I took 3 interviews for so far.

at least I have managed to get 3 chapters done for my 2nd book, and still haven’t revealed that contents of ‘the box’ (see  if you don’t know or recall what I am talking about.) the only new clue that anyone has is the police detective that saw it was surprised that a ‘Girl like you would have one of those’ that ,and the protagonist is going to get one for the Demon’s girl friend, just to torture him!

ok – enough teasing for the night, thought I would give you all an update.

later.  I suppose I should put this up again, and give the code AT42X so you can get it free, but I am too lazy 😀

Writing Excercise.

Hello all,

Today I took a seminar by a woman named Ann Randolph. It was interesting, we did timed writing exercises, and we talked about morning writing, there were a few other things like that. if you ever get a chance to take one of her classes, do it. sorry I don’t know if she does classes for people outside of the Denver Metro area, she mentioned ‘onine classes’ but I missed details. (if you really want it I can dig it up)

After the seminar we had a beer, her, I and 2 others. And the discussion came up about how they use digital recorders. I don’t I have a different way of holding my thoughts.

I use musical peanut butter. This term, for those of you that don’t know, is a reference to that ANNOYING as anything song that once you hear you can’t get it out of your brain? No matter how bad you want to. Examples, “Dreamer” by Super Tramp, ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’ by Ricky martin. ‘Red Solo Cup” by [I forget who]. I would like to apologize to those of you that are now humming one or all three of these songs. Before you go to YouTube to find ANYTHING you can to clear your ear holes, finish reading then look up the “Harp Twins“, their music is awesome at clearing your head of peanut butter, or as effective as you can get.

Anyway if I am driving, and I get one of my killer ideas, I will put on my ‘peanut butter’ play list, and burn the idea into my head, using the peanut butter to stick it there. this works for me incredibly well, at the cost of damaging my limited sanity from putting music in my head that I can’t get out.

Then again I am a writer, so it’s not like I had a lot of sanity to begin with.

Any thoughts about this? Is it a crazy but useful idea, or am I just psycho and should be getting help of some kind? is the link for the girls I mentioned.

The universe is just playing now

greetings all,

In a twist to my already unpredictable process of becoming an author I have today accepted a temp job with the company that laid me off!
They are going to pay me more per hour, but on a 1099 so I will have to cover taxes and such at the end of the year. Still it means a couple of things. Assuming that I don’t get hired today (I have a very promising interview lined up) I will make enough $$ to go to the ‘how to publish and market your book’ event at the end of the month.

I will have enough money to hire a top shelf editor, making my great work even better and I will do all of this without disrupting my already on its ear life.

And in my paranoid nature I am trying to find out what is going to go wrong, this is just ‘too perfect’
I am starting to feel like my characters in my book, bounced around and ultimately happy where they end up but damn what a ride.

Another Step on the Path

Greetings all from the wonderful white world of the unemployed.

Today I started to slip into dangerous waters. I slept in, something I haven’t done since Christmas. Technically because my insomnia kicked in again, I only slept 8.5 hours, but getting up at 9:00 ‘feels wrong’. My Phone, wife and kids have all decided that I have been short on sleep and stressed.

I was able to write another 1.5 chapters last nights, and found a reference book I will want to purchase WHEN I am working and back on my feet. Its only day 3 of being unemployed for me, and I find myself looking at my daily list and thinking “screw this”

I’m not sure if it’s the weather, the changes all catching up, the other behaviors I have as of yet to fully understand [IE my readers] or what…
I’m not in a good place! So today I think I will have to change-up my routine! Going to finish my chapter(s) and then put out 6 more resumes. I have to remember in the arena that I am working in, jobs are not filled in hours, even if a rock star (like me) applies for it, they are going to do rounds of interviews and background checks and and and…

It’s funny when I talk to my wife about this; I remind her that the job I just lost was never my ‘forever’ job. I suspect the company will shutter in a couple more years, or at least the dynamic to keep it open will shift to the another department (Either way a bad place to be) but the shock if it quitting me before I quit it is still there.

I am going to stick to the ‘rules’ like no TV during the day, and no Redbull (ok I already broke that one, but there was no coffee ready)[no beer till I am working again, no eating out, and lowering out meals to something VERY economical. I am only allowed to do 2 things during the day, work on getting a job (things like sending resumes and working on intro letters) and writing ‘something’.

I will either have a job by the end of the month, or my second book done and the third one started, or both!.

Depression is NOT going to set in and take hold!

BTW – hers is the link to my first published work (I know I keep putting it up here)

AT42X this is the code so you can have it free. (of corse if you can spare a buck-LOL)
Maybe today after I put outmy resumes and settle my brain, I will figure out a way to make it automatically free, but right now it takes a 2 step process. for no I have to leave it at .99 until it’s in the ‘premium’ catalog and gets pushed to Apple and B&N then I can look at changing the price to 0